If you’ve been watching me, following me, reading me for a while you know I am as transparent as possible, as vulnerable as possible. You should also know that when I take a while to write anything it’s because I can’t get it together, I can’t speak on whatever it is as candidly as I should and so I opt for quietness.
I have been doing my IG show since June and I’ve said over and over again that waking up everyday with SCD is a struggle because my body is fighting my body and there isn’t much I can do about it.
On Saturday during my show, I relived a bunch of stuff that I chose to keep suppressed and I was a mess, even hours after the episode. I had plenty to do following the episode, so I did what I do best, I plastered a smile on my face and pushed through.
I’m here in bed and instead of trying to fall asleep, instead of catching these zzz’s that my body deserves, I’m not only trying to nurse this pain, but also I’m thinking of ways to overcome this problem if I can call it that way.
SCD is a condition that I was born with but it’s a big problem in my life. I’ve found ways to adapt, fit my life around, adjust just so I can have some sort of normalcy in my life but this big problem doesn’t make it easy.
Now I know there’s nothing I can do about this, there’s no cure for SCD; even with changing my diet, again adjusting, trying to avoid stress as much as humanly possible, SCD is there!!! So how does one overcome this pain, this problem?
I just turned 39 years old a couple of weeks ago, I’m already thinking about turning 40 because I want the new decade of my life, the new chapter to be completely different. They say you are the author of your life, and while that’s true for most, I feel like for me, and maybe some of my fellow Warriors might feel the same way, SCD dictates the majority of what goes in each chapter of my book.
How do I overcome this? At this point in my life, I crave peace. I enjoy turning my phone off and just be absent from the world and present in my peace. How do I make SCD fit that mold? Because SCD doesn’t go hand in hand with peace; you would think that since I am away from stress and in peace, I would experience less pain.
How do I do this? I’m open to suggestions because I need to overcome…
Smile, it could be worse!!!